A Case of Mistaken Crooks?
by Nianai Bell Nezumi
Summary: When paperwork leaves Kotetsu stranded at the office and Barnaby and Kaede with some family time, crooks wind up doing stupid things. Guys I'm warning you this is just random fun. Warnings: pre-established boyXboy relationship with sprinkles of the Brooks-Kaburagi family time.


Summer had finally hit Sternbuild, and hard.

Kotetsu wiped the beads of sweat that were accumulating on his forehead with the back of one tan hand. Even in shorts and a light tank he felt like he was going to pass out from the heat. He looked at the people around him and none of them seemed to be feeling any better, everyone was stripped down into as little clothing as was legally possible. What he wouldn't give to be in his house, air conditioning on full blast as he snuggled up on his leather couch with Bunny and Kaede.

A year after Kotetsu and Barnaby had returned to Hero TV they had officially started dating. It definitely hadn't been the easiest thing he'd ever done (Barnaby was not some demure women to be tamed and he let Kotetsu know they were equals every step of the way) but it was keeping Kotetsu young and it was one of the best things to ever happen to him. And somewhere along the way Kaede had taken a shine to Barnaby as her other dad. Kotetsu thought his little girl would've balked at the thought of her daddy being in love with another guy. Instead Kaede and Barnaby bonded frighteningly quickly. Kotetsu couldn't be happier that his daughter and boyfriend were besties.

Unfortunately the two most important people in his life were currently having daddy daughter bonding time in the Sternbuild's biggest park while he had been stuck in the office doing some last minute paperwork that he _may_ have procrastinated on. When he'd asked Barnaby if he would wait around while he finished up his papers the blonde had simple raised an eyebrow at him, laughing happily. "Kaede called today. We're going for ice cream in a half hour." Kotetsu had practically deflated at the thought of his daughter and boyfriend sharing ice cream on this hot summer day. They would look like had just popped out of a magazine shoot.

"This is why you should have just done your paper work _last week_ like you were supposed to." Kotetsu groaned, knowing Barnaby was right (as always), but he hadn't wanted to be reminded of that particular fact. He missed it when Barnaby smiled down at him, before bent down, kissed his cheek and told him, "Try and finish up here quickly. Then come find us at the park ok?"

Kotetsu had stared at the blond. Four years ago he never would have guessed that Barnaby would be this sweet man standing before him. He knew that Barnaby would only let his guard when no one else was at the office. Still this was more than the bearded man could have asked for.

The blond had left over two hours ago and Kotetsu had finally gotten through the last bits of paperwork and he was currently sprinting out of Apollon Media offices. Once he got to his car he would call Barnaby and finally be able to spend time with his family.

Before Kotetsu could reach his car his cell phone buzzed frantically against his leg. Kotetsu grinned, Barnaby was probably checking up on him, worried about his whereabouts.

Juggling his cell phone on one hand and his car keys in the other, Kotetsu unlocked the driver's side door while answering his phone. "Aw is Bunny finally checking in on me?" Kotetsu smiled at the blush that would probably be coating the blonde's face. It had only been two hours and Kotetsu was longing for Bunny. He had it pretty bad for the kid.

"Sorry, but this isn't your bunny." Crackled a shaky voice on Barnaby's phone.

Kotetsu's blood ran cold and he looked at his phone to make sure he had dialed Barnaby's number. It was Barnaby's cell.

Kotetsu practically growled at the man on the other end. "Who are you creep? Put Bunny on the line."

"No can do Mr. Wildtiger. You see, I need something from you."

Kotetsu wasn't in the mood to deal with this joker.

"What do you _want_?"

A beep beside his ear warned him that the criminal was switching to video chat and Kotetsu practically grinned at the chance to find out where his family was.

The image that blinked on shocked Kotetsu.

A large wrinkled face obstructed half of the video screen. The man was ancient, white wispy hair partially combed over his forehead, wrinkles and crinkles adorned his face. But Kotetsu noticed his eyes were practically useless it seemed based on how they were slightly glazed over. His face wasn't smiling or frowning he was just there. Behind him sat his daughter and Bunny tied back to back, both slumped over and unconscious. Now he _really _wasn't in the mood for the face on screen.

"What. do. you. want?" Kotetsu repeated angrily.

What Kotetsu assumed was the man's lips tilted up at the edges and he had to bite back any insults rising in his chest. _Stay calm old man_. Barnaby's voice had been Kotetsu's voice of reason for a few years now.

"You see Wildtiger, some very important people have got a grudge against you."

Kotetsu snorted. "Real shocker there."

The man ignored him, "well my clients have ordered me to get some leverage on you. I hope you understand."

"Not really but do keep explaining it to me. Who are your employers and what do you want from me?"

Barnaby seemed to be waking up slowly behind his captor, Kotetsu just had to keep him distracted long enough for Barnaby to turn on his One Hundred Power. Kotetsu breathed in through his nose. Today really sucked.

"I want you to come down here to get your wife and child, WildTiger. Then we can chat."

Kotetsu blinked at the man before yelling, "What did you say?"

The old man's face dropped and he looked confused.

"I believe I made myself clear. You are to come meet me and your wife and kid-"

"Wait wait wait." Kotetsu put a hand to his head and had to keep down his laughter. What was this guy thinking?

"My wife? Do you think that…"

The man was positively pouting at this point.

"Bunny is the name of your wife, correct? Or her nickname at least."

Kotetsu was outright laughing at the 'criminal' at this point. His whole body was shaking and he was glad that he could see Barnaby was shaking the last bit of haziness from his head. Kaede was bouncing back too and Kotetsu couldn't wait to see what they thought of this whole thing now that he knew they weren't in real danger.

"Look, mister. I don't know where you got your information from but what makes you think Bunny is my wife?"

The man looked taken aback and in the background Kotetsu heard twin exclamations of 'what's' from Kaede and Barnaby.

"My clients they said that you had a significant other and a kid. They sent me to this park and said to look for a tall blond with glasses and a little brown haired kid. And if I call your number you'd respond with her name; Bunny." Kotetsu was having trouble breathing at this point. Oh god, he couldn't wait to tell Nathan about this. Sternbuild sure had lost all its fearsome villains.

Kotetsu opened his mouth to clarify the situation but Barnaby beat him to it.

"I am not a woman! My name's _Barnaby_, not Bunny." The blond threw a heated glare at the video phone. "You idiot old man! This is why I _told_ you not to call me Bunny. People were bound to get strange ideas!"

The old man with Barnaby and Kaede frown and repeated, "Barnaby? That's a weird girl's name."

Kaede almost choked on the laughter rolling out of her small body.

A telltale blue glow began to surround Barnaby and Kotetsu knew that the other man could handle the situation. He watched as the old man on screen remained blissfully unaware of his impending danger because he continued on, "If Bunny really is a guy that would explain the flat chestedness. I thought that they were firm but not very full."

A vein popped in Barnaby's head as he grounded out, "You felt me up? Oh my." Barnaby's flushed face redden even more and Kotetsu simply called out, "So, uh you need any help or should I just get the police on my way over?"

"Call the cops. I'm not sure how easy I can go on this guy."

Kaede was still dying of laughter.

Kotetsu smiled before reeving up his car. "Play nicely Bunny."

"Shut up."

"Yeah, love you too. See you in ten minutes."

* * *

A/N: You all are really too sweet. And thus everyone has encouraged me to do this crack piece. Don't take it too seriously guys, my other stories can get a little drama-y sometimes so I just wanted something without a real point. Enjoy!


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